The guru syndrome

This is a brilliant piece by a very cool blogger:

http://whatmesober.com/2019/05/24/the-guru-syndrome/

I’ve seen this happen and also been there. I’m seeing this more and more on *social media too, the newly sober snapping glamorous pics & dolling out therapy as if they’ve been sober for 20 years. This platform gives us addicts a way to ‘rebrand’ ourselves and its very tempting indeed. No more the hapless alcoholic now new and sparkly sexy and sober… We do need to clasp back any tiny shred of self esteem we can get after being kocked down by addiction so I GET IT.

The issue is just that someone who has been sober for 11 months is still very much in their infancy  in terms of sobriety. The danger of course is ALSO relapse as you are building your recovery on such a public platform and not really focussing on the internal process needed for a deeper understanding of addiction and how to treat it. It troubles me greatly but everyone’s path is different. The only thing worse than a relapse is a public one after you’ve been ’spreading the sober gospel all over instagram’

* (instagram & facebook not our blogging community, this community saved me and I managed to really get amazing help and support here in this space)

 

12 thoughts on “The guru syndrome

  1. It’s funny, I saw that piece when it first turned up in the feed, and though of course I can relate to the principle behind it, and yes of course, like most of us, I’ve both “seen it and been it,” I felt irritated by the way it was written, which felt ironically guruesque. I actually had to write a whole step 4 rant about it. 😉 I like your own version better 🙂

    I loved your closing caveat and agree: “(instagram & facebook. not our blogging community, this community saved me and I managed to really get amazing help and support here in this space)” — yes same for me 💛

    love your blog btw, mentioned it in my day 10 post

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha! I was just thinking about this the other day. I subscribe to some people but then I unsubscribe… same with podcasts. But, I am still struggling with REALLY deciding to quit drinking forever. However, I did let my therapist know about my blog. I know she has been reading it since the last time I saw her and I see her later today. I am a little nervy about it. I am hoping she has some insight into way I am so stuck. I don’t have many more hangovers in me…
    You are right about our blogging community- I want to plug back in, I still read but I haven’t written in a long while. Glad to see you!!♥️

    Like

  3. One of the best lessons I think o have learned is that just because something is for me does NOT mean it is for everyone.
    I remember years ago being evangelical about low carb diets. I was fit, thin and thought it was the answer to all problems.

    Turned out it helped me as I was celiac and didn’t know it. But at the same time I starved myself into severe adrenal fatigue.

    I try to stick with soft and gentle now. Often I bite my tongue and say nothing. I definitely don’t have all the answers.
    Anne

    Liked by 3 people

      • It’s good to see you back on the blog🙏. I saw your most recent post and it hit so close to home. I am so sorry about your loss, and the experience you had at the airport. I finally made it to sobriety after losing my dear brother on December 11 , 2 years ago. My father died the year before that, and both uncles. Add a divorce in there and the part of your post that I feel wholeheartedly is where you Say “ yes I’m sober but life is fucking hard”
        Grief is so personal in how we work through it I think. There was a good amount of time I just allowed myself the space to curl up and cry, sob. I always said well at least I’m not drinking, I’m allowed to be sad angry isolated or whatever it was I needed to be. The holidays are still hard, the deep grief has faded. Those who are close and supportive to you will help immensely.
        I will write more later, but somehow I knew something was up when I saw it had been awhile since you last posted.
        Thank you for sharing your experience so honestly. Your mother sounds wonderful-you will cherish those memories you have,. Take good care❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for sharing your story, it sounds like you’ve been through the ringer where loss is concerned. I’m trying to give myself time and space to be sad but being sad feels so bloody uncomfortable and exhausting. I’m dreading next Christmas already, she died 2 weeks before Christmas. I fully plan on becoming a Scrooge for that very reason. In fact I may decide to ban Christmas altogether.

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  4. Oh Gosh. I think I may be one of those newbie evangelist. I joined the 90 day challenge on One Year No Beer, and after 60 days, I have been soooooo excited with the changes in my life, I have definitely been preaching personally and on FB. Does that mean I will relapse? And there is such a thing as alcoholism, and I may or may not have it? I just want booze out my life and loving the experience. Do I really keep this to myself and hope that others stumble upon some awakening like I did via FB? But then why are we writing these blogs? Give me a few years… perhaps I will be wiser ;).

    Liked by 1 person

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