Namaste bitches! 365 days!

/ Hurrahforcoffee

sober

OK I know my last post was a massive downer. I had my mope, I followed advise from the lovely Betty and Northwoman and wallowed till I could wallow no more. By the way wallowing gets really boring after a couple of days and even I have a limit to how much ice cream i can consume.

Today I have been sober for …drumroll please….one whole year! Did you ever think you would see the day?..Queen of relapse actually made it for 365 days.

Ahem….I would like to thank the Academy, my mom and dad…

Just kidding, I’m not doing any speeches. I’m just surprised and really happy. With the day counting thing there is an element of dissappointment as well and so forgive me for getting a little serious just for a bit…

Part of my depression was due to this unrealistic expectation I had of what the sober me should look like. I mean the sober me should be ‘further her recovery that she is’ That right there ladies and gentlemen is the crux of the issue!  Wishing I was different and not accepting myself for who I am in the present moment. Letting myself be enough!  Taking care and loving myself instead of bulldosing my way through recovery like there is this massive checklist and GOALS that need to be reached.

Striving and never arriving! So I am taking a step back. I am going to try to be gentle with myself. I’m changing my word for the year half way through the year.(are we allowed to do that?) My new word is COMPASSION. Compassion for myself and my nearest and dearest. Creativity will flow from that when it’s ready.

Thank you for always being there and just being the best damn sober peeps around! Love you all! xxxxxxxx

 

31 thoughts on “Namaste bitches! 365 days!”

  2. This is just the BEST post. It’s honest and funny and it’s real! It’s a huge achievement. You should be so proud of yourself.

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  9. So pleased for you – well done!!

    Re the ‘should be further on in recovery’ thing – in one of Belle’s recent podcasts she said something I found really helpful: that our addictive voice tells us we should give up because we are not changing fast enough. Which, when you put it like that, is CLEARLY bonkers. But it seems logical, oh yes indeedy, very familiar with that one myself. Self-compassion always a good plan (have you come across Kristen Neff’s work on that topic, btw? Worth a look.) xx

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  15. The divine power in me honors the divine power and strength in you!!
    365 is fantastic- I’m almost 1/2 way there.
    Compassion and patience Along with acceptance. Then willingness to see and try things differently. Keep on that positive wave!

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  19. WELL DONE! You are sober and exactly as far into your recovery as you need to be. Remember , progress not perfection … and what amazing progress you have made 😘🌷 keep going , I too have been a bit disappointed sometimes that being sober hasn’t miraculously solved all my problems BUT slowly slowly things are improving – and that’s all that really counts🌷xx

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  20. What is it,,,how is it…that that rotten little voice in our heads can do SUCH a number on us!? I have yelled out loud, used profanity, banished that never-ending little guttersnipe to ‘go sit out on the roof!’ Sometimes it works.

    Why cant we remember that we would never say such things to a friend, yet we batter ourselves with the worst kind of demeaning put-downs.

    You are PHENOMENAL! You are doing phenomenal!! Hurrah for HURRAH!!

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