I’m 40 and officially old AF!


I have been alive on planet earth for 40 years(14600 days). That seems like a really fucking long time! I honestly didn’t think I would live past 27 so I must say it’s a really nice surprise to have made it this far.

Given the amount of abuse I put my body through and the dangerous situations I have been in  I don’t think its an exaggeration to say that it’s a modern miracle that I am still alive.

This birthday seems different. I feel like I am part of the special over 40’s club, which gives me some gravitas. I sort of feel like I need to make a speech about the things I’ve learned or something.   Instead of making a speech I’ll just do a bullet list, saves time and we all know how much I love lists:)

Things I’ve learned in my 40 years on planet earth…

1) Alcohol is shit. Don’t drink it no matter what!
Seriously though, it makes you do stupid things, it makes you hate yourself and it makes you sick. It’s actually mind-boggling why the rest of world are still insisting on drinking the stuff!

2) Being in recovery is bad ass. Once you get over the shame and the guilt and all of the things you start realising that being in recovery is actually something to really be proud of. Its fucking awesome!

3) You are not your addiction or the things you did in active addiction. You are a divine being worthy of love.

4) Love yourself! Life is too short to carry on hating yourself, it hasn’t worked so far so try something different. Work on your feelings of worthiness, love and belonging and EVERYTHING will change.

5) Yoga is awesome  – Get high on your own supply people! Pranayama, Kundalini or a hard core rocket class can get you out of your mind NATURALLY with no side effects:)

6) Don’t take yourself or life too seriously. It’s meant to be a dance!  Try to go with the flow…life will have its’ way…try to laugh more, even through the shit times, it helps!

7) When you buy foil there are little perforated indents in the side of the box, when push them in the roll stays put. Cant believe I only found that out last year. You can thank me later:)

8) Music heals. Listen to music, make music, sing and dance!!! its your god given right and don’t stop doing it just because you are sober.

9) Guard your natural instincts and creativity with a veracity of a tigress! Don’t let the  culture we live in permeate into your subconscious. Make time for being creative and for other nurturing pursuits. Put it on the top of your list.

10) You are enough! Just as you are! Be your own Mark Darcy and remind yourself of this every day. You don’t have to lose that last 5 kilos or achieve massive success at work first! You are enough JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

Lots of love sober peeps.


49 thoughts on “I’m 40 and officially old AF!

  1. Happy birthday! I am happy you worked all that out before 40! I only stopped drinking at 44 and I tell you; the indents in the foil box? I read about that last month!!! At 48!
    Hope the hubs and the kids gave you all that you needed for this birthday, earthly goods and loads of kisses, hugs and loving attention.
    Sending a happy birthday hug! ❤
    xx, Feeling

    Liked by 1 person

  2. OMG!! I just walked straight into my kitchen and took out the Reynolds Wrap. I just assumed you used some other brand of tin foil, but THERE IT WAS! I can’t wait to lord this information over my family. Thank you!

    And also, that is the best list I’ve ever read. It’s perfect, especially this part: “You are a divine being worthy of love.” It really does change everything to believe this. Yay you!

    And Happy Birthday! Age does come with gravitas. People respect you for no reason whatsoever. I LOVE IT!

    Wishing you a birthday miracle! 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Happy birthday to you. I turn 45 this year and I’m not dreading it, as I used to dread birthdays when I was drinking. Thanks for this list. I needed to hear it. : )

    Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, oh, it has changed my life (albeit in a teeny tiny way!)

        My entire adult life I have picked off the tin foil then tried to crumble the cube.

        Instead I now pull out the spare ‘corners’ of the foil and then bash the cube flat with my hand – STILL INSIDE THE FOIL – then tear one corner of the foil back and pour out the powder. It’s like a beef-flavoured miracle (or chicken-flavoured, of course).

        Go on – give it a go!!!


  4. Great List! I have recently discovered #4. I’m 38 and looking forward to 40!!! Imagine if i hadn’t quit drinking my birthday would just be a big drunkfest likely with lots of regret. now it can be anything i want! maybe i will start planning!! Sober on!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Happy 40! I created a similar list when I turned 40 and it would look very different for me now at 43 just given that I didn’t get sober until two months ago. The 40s club is fantastic and it’s only better without the booze – so welcome!!

    Liked by 1 person

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