Cigarette flavoured ice cream

icecreamSo last week I tried to stop smoking for the gazillionth time. I fared pretty well until Mr Hurrah and I had a massive fight on Sunday.

I was standing outside in the shed where I used to sneak drinks…eating an ice cream and smoking a cigarette at the same time. Yes that is physically possible and no I wouldn’t recommend it. It takes a lot of coordination not to drag on the ice-cream and eat the cigarette.

As I was smoking the cigarette and angry eating the ice cream it occurred to me that this is perhaps not what sobriety looks like. What the hell am I doing? I’m not coping with life I am trying to distract and numb myself out with two things that aren’t even mind altering. I suppose that probably depends on how much ice cream you can consume in one sitting, is a sugar coma even a thing?

So in an effort to be accountable I am going to track my progress here. I’m quitting the fags cold turkey tomorrow and going to try my best not to substitute the fags for food.

Cigarettes are lethal and don’t DO anything. I think part of the reason I’m finding it difficult to quit this time (I quit for 7 years before my kids were born) is because I feel a loss of my rebel identity. I never pegged myself as a non-smoking, non-drinking kale eating yogi. The things is smoking doesn’t make you a rebel it’s just nicotine addiction that makes you sick.

The food thing is harder…when I stop smoking I feel more hungry and I ‘reward’ myself with food. Eating a whole box of ice creams isn’t fun. You feel sick afterwards and sugar is its own little hamster wheel of craving and bingeing.

Being mindful, present and noticing my triggers before it gets to crisis point is the only way this ‘new me’ is going to really recover. Yes, I didn’t drink so that is at least something but part of recovery is learning to deal with life’s ups and downs without clutching at old crutches that aren’t good for you.

I would love to hear what cross addictions y’all are struggling with, if any?

Wish me luck sober peeps, I sure need it. xxx

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38 thoughts on “Cigarette flavoured ice cream

  1. Hi HFC!
    Good to hear from you. HORRIBLE pic though. Ghegheghe, that this photo it even exists in this world. 🙂
    Chocolate, chips, cheese and Netflix. And buying books. I seem to feel safe if I have anything on every subject I might need in the future.
    If you have the time you might want to check out the post I did on the free online TOP training against drinking, they have against smoking too. I really think the alcohol training did really help me. Working through my 3 page (?) manual on how to access this program is always a better thing to do than smoking. Or… haha; arguing with your husband. 😉
    Wishing you well,
    xx, Feeling

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hee hee! I almost chocked on my broccoli picturing you hiding in the shed, switching off between ice cream and a cigarette.
    I am a sugar addict. It’s bad. I went almost 4 weeks without it, then began relapsing last week. I have that same mentality that plagued me about quitting drinking where I eat as much sugar as possible before going cold turkey. So, last night I went to Udder Delights — a store with a big picture of a cow’s udder — and ordered a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge. I ate the whole thing quickly, while hogging a table all to myself.
    But that was yesterday. Today … broccoli. No sugar Day 1.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m killing myself laughing at your hilarious post! I have a shopping addiction. And what with all the moola I’ve saved from quitting wine, I have a ton to spend on shopping! Often I’m just window shopping online which is a ridiculous waste of time. Crazy how easily we rationalize these things! Good luck giving up the smokes and I look forward to hearing how you are doing 🙌🏻

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  4. Not like you’re setting yourself a high bar or anything, eh, Hurrah? Wishing you success, of course…..but maybe one thing at a time, just for sanity’s sake? For me, the good news is that I seem to have been born totally repulsed by smoking, so never so much as a puff. But don’t let me near a serve-yourself hot fudge sundae bar!

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    • Where is this magical place? This serve yourself hot fudge sundae bar? Actually dont tell me:) I am sure you are right. I’ve told myself that as long as I dont smoke that is the most important thing. I really want to try not to bury my head in vat of ice cream but if it happens the most important thing to beat is the smoking. xxx

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  5. Oh sugar. You make me laugh but I feel ya. In my neck of the woods, smoking is totally rebelling against the masses here. It’s why I started, look at me, I’m not a Mormon- I’m over here sabotaging myself because I am mad at all y’all. Y’all crazy. I respect your recovery and this is exactly what it looks like because you caught yourself- you want better for yourself and you look at the shit you do to yourself and hopefully next time you will catch yourself before you light one. Someone in recovery wouldn’t do that-

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  6. Oh my gracious that icecream image! 😮😁

    Totally get the rebel identity thing. Me too. I will take my default action here and recommend some reading (reading!! The only addictive thing without harmful side effects! Except maybe a double chin from decades of reading in bed at night. Pshaw.)

    the book is ‘Taming your Outer Child’ (although taming is absolutely the wrong word and the author should have used a better one. If I had written that book I would have titled it something like ‘understanding your outer child’). Basic premise is that our outer child ‘acts up’ when it’s needs are not being met. So if we can identify what we actually need (attention, understanding, time alone, and other impossible mirages) and engineer more of that, then the outer child can relax and feel safe again, and stop giving itself Wispa bars.

    Good going with the non-smoking! Prim xx

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  7. Sugar. After almost 18 months I still can’t kick the sugar. I think the key is don’t be too hard on yourself. You will become less dependent on the crutches with time. Quitting drinking and quitting smoking is a LOT to accomplish. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You are doing great.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Yep, me too on the sugar at the moment though I haven’t managed to multi task it quite as effectively as it sounds like you have. The coffee is still pretty out of control too though that kind of goes without saying in your neck of the woods ;D Good luck with ditching the fags, keep us updated xx

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  9. wishing you so much good luck and strength! my husband quit about 6 years ago and although it was hard, he has said now with some time and distance he is very happy about the decision! hang in there, we are here for you! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  10. When I saw the photo on top of your post, I thought it was actually a real product and had my response all ready to type – which would have been “F*** O** is this a real thing?!”.

    Have you read the Allen Carr smoking book? I read it and stopped for 3 years, and actually honestly didn’t even want one. I’m not a great advert given that I started again after 3 years but there you have it – it was still 3 years off them I guess.

    As for rebelling…..this is a big thing for me. I feel like a truly boring bastard if I neither drink nor smoke. I can’t stand the thought of a Kale smoothie, yoga or Shiatsu, and I will never step foot in a meeting. Furthermore, if I ever catch myself knitting I will go to the vet and ask to be put down. So that leaves me with…………. Ice Cream. For today, anyway : )

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  11. This made me laugh! The Cigarette-Ice Cream! I’ve been in the food business for a long time and a chef I knew actually created a cigarette flavored ice cream! I swear to God it was exactly that! He went to a ton of effort making it just right!
    You don’t have to stop being a rebel-just find a different way to express it! Jeez if you lived here you be a rebel against the current political situation! I still swear and say what I think-I’m just doing it soberly now.
    And as for ice cream-I WILL NOT give that up! But only chocolate for me these days:)
    Xxxx

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  12. It’s amazing how many of us say sugar, eh? I recently did 100 days sugar free and I felt great. It’s been two weeks since then, and while I am *ok* at the moment, I know it can spiral out of control. Food is something that I don’t have that much an issue with, until I have issues with it. I have been known to eat my emotions, and while it’s common for a lot of people, I just have to really make sure that I am clear with my intents, and my emotions and being honest with myself.
    Glad you’re looking to take care of yourself. It’s not easy trying to nail all those suckers at once!

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  13. I am so glad that I never took up smoking. With my addictive personality I would very quickly have become a smoking addict.
    I think with addictions we are always swapping one for another. But choosing a less dangerous addiction is probably the key to long term success. My currents addictions are painting (and wasting untold amounts of loose change on ruined canvases) and food photography. I bore the brains off people on Instagram with photos of what I eat!! I realise that they are both addictions but compared to alcohol and shopping addiction they are relatively mild.
    My dear mother who has struggled with alcohol addiction for many years, rang me yesterday to tell me that she has conquered her wine addiction (A bottle or more a night) I asked her how she had done that and she told me she had changed from wine to Black Russians. The mind boggles. But in her mind she is no longer addicted to wine. So I guess that is good. Isn’t it?

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    • Oh my! So black russians are the answer. I remeber switching drinks and thinking that one type of booze was the problem. The mind does indeed boggle! Yes smoking is so harmful and so addictive. I’m on day 4 and so far so good:) x

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  14. “Angry eating icecream” lol lol lol! Oh my god you crack me up. Good luck Hurrah! When I quit smoking and drinking at the same time my body and mind went nutso but I think it was because I didn’t know what I wanted or was craving. Do I want a smoke? a drink? A drink then a smoke? both at the same time? Auughhh!! NOTHING THEN I WILL CRAWL INTO A CAVE INSTEAD!

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  15. Oh I get the cross-addiction stuff. Big time. I’m cross addicted to several things. Nicotine continues to be a struggle. Although now I am one month free. Not easy.

    I only try to take on one thing at a time. That seems to help. Taking it easy like that, knowing that as long as I stay sober, I am winning for the day.

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    • Well done on one month Mark! Sobriety is the most important thing you are right. The cognitive dissonanace I was feeing around the smoking was getting too much for me. After my mom got sick I realised that cigarettes will cut you down, its just a matter of when. Scared the living crap out of me.

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