The greatest pleasure in life…


I was listening to an interview Belle did with BBC Three counties radio, you can listen to it here:

The interview was supposed to be about young people and how there is a trend where they seem to be disenchanted with alcohol. The presenter was a drinker (very much in love with alcohol) and was totally gobsmacked by Belle suggestion that alcohol wasn’t required to have a good time!

How very dare she suggest such an outrageous thing! We need booze to feel good in this culture. We need booze when we feel good and we need booze when we feel bad, which pretty much means that we need booze all the time!

The part of the interview that really got me was when he said: “Surely there is no greater pleasure in life than a gorgeous glass of wine on a sunny afternoon!” Isn’t that a tragic statement?

This was my reality for many years. Alcohol was the easy sparkling route to nirvana. What could be easier than opening a bottle of wine and drinking it to change how you feel? It never in a million years dawned on me that was I was actually enjoying was sitting down at the end of a long day and just chilling out. It didn’t occur to me that this ‘liquid magic’ I was drinking was slowly destroying me and would turn out to be my greatest source of pain.

The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the feelings of discomfort that result from holding two conflicting beliefs. One of the core beliefs I held was that alcohol was necessary to have a good time. The conflicting evidence that I experienced in my life like horrendous hangovers, drunken fights, blackouts, falling over was pushed to the back to the far recesses of my mind so that I could hold on to my first belief.

We will do anything and everything to protect the precious substance and let ourselves hang out to dry! These days I can have a great time without alcohol in fact I have a better time because I can remember everything. I am free and clear and I truly connect with people when I’m out. I’ve learned to let go and dance sober, which was a massive step for me.

I went to my first sober concert to watch one of my favourite bands Guns and Roses, I had a blast, I sang and danced like a maniac, all sober! Yes sometimes I will leave a party early but the only reason is that when people start repeating themselves it can get quite tedious. I don’t leave early because I am boring now that I am sober. I’m much more outgoing now that I have found my sober feet. Towards the end of my drinking I was the most boring drunk, I would just sit in corner and go all-quiet. Lordy! Do you call that having a good time?

There is no greater pleasure in life than being able to find pleasure and contentment from within and not to be dependant on an outside source/substance.




18 thoughts on “The greatest pleasure in life…

  1. Cognitive dissonance, no matter where I go and what I read I get that on my plate. But ha! Not going to think about it because probably nonsense! 😉
    Or not :-). Not sure what it is saying yet. Guess I will find out. 🙂
    And yes: connection is nicer than drinking. I am sorry to say, that youth, it could have been me a few years ago. 😦 Guess we’ll see him show up here in about 20 – 30 years. :-/ Good that Belle spoke with him though, hope he learns. 🙂
    xx, Feeling

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I protected my belief that I had to have wine in order to enjoy a romantic night with my hubs.
    It is crazy what we will do to deny all the yucky bad stuff about drinking to hold on the fake magic we think it will bring.
    SO happy I am free from that, and hubs and are very romantic!!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. I think most of society does this. It’s only when you start to question the role of alcohol that you see it. We as a society do a great job of acting like it’s all ok. Imagine a friend took illicit drugs at a party, started stumbling, had slurred speech, repeated themselves or worse ended up in the toilets vomiting. Would society think this is ok? Funny even? We ignore the truth that alcohol is destructive. This radio presenter talks about a glass of wine, but stops there. Perhaps he’s one of those people who just has the one. Or perhaps he drank the whole bottle, ate crappy food and felt like crap in the morning. Either way he would still think that glass of wine was the best! It is sad. I hope my kids don’t fall into this trap when they are older.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. A new category of thing arose for me when I started to move in the world this way, as I drink other beverages around people drinking beer, and it was a sense of peacefulness and safety. I’m moving in the world keeping my inner self and reality safe. I’m drinking drinks that are safe for me. They leave my inner sense of self clear and peaceful (and on track to have a good night’s sleep, my highest priority 🙂 ). I feel no dissonance between my drinking safe drinks and other people drinking whatever (a common fear of people (including me) before wading into this fruitful sober lifestyle).

    Liked by 2 people

  5. And regarding that image of the big glass of wine and the bliss that, in the image, accompanies it. I’m still exploring what all is packed into that image. All of it — and orders of magnitude more (well, maybe just one order of magnitude) — is available without the wine. But that image is very powerful and the translation to a “safe” (a la my previous comment) version of it (god, that sounds boring, but so is it not) takes some doing. (Today must be National Parentheses Day.)

    Liked by 3 people

    • Yeah, the images society puts on us about alcohol (and the addict within who accepts them gladly 😦 ) If you have not read it already: Jason Vale in his book ‘Kicking the drink, easily’ debunks all the myths we have. I found that very helpful. While reading I tried to find out where and in what words a myth connected to me ‘energetically’ – if that means anything? And I did not continue reading until I understood what it said, how it worked for me and my emotions were back to normal. As in not in pannic mode due to the new truth which had just been presented to me. I found it a very good book. 🙂
      xx, Feeling


  6. I love the research angle to this post. And I agree with your experience Hurrah. That is cognitive dissonance at its core. It describes my relationship with alcohol perfectly. As I went, the gap of dissonance just widened. Then recovery slammed it shut.

    Liked by 1 person

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