Why should you quit drinking for good? High-bottom girls make the world go round!

bottom

Generally speaking, people are motivated to cut down on their alcohol consumption when drinking has become problematic or when they have suffered some negative consequences from drinking.

Cutting down could include trying to re-set the clock with the 100-day promise or one year no beer and then after having abstained for said amount of time hopefully you can drink again moderately.

This might work for some but it definitely didn’t work for me. Every time I started drinking again I picked up right where I left off. It might have taken me a couple of weeks or even months to return to the volume I was drinking but return I most certainly did.

This got me thinking about drinkers with a high bottom… (not the pert posterior variety I’m referring to, although that would be great to have!)

So what motivates a high bottom drinker to stop and STAY stopped? And does everyone have to reach rock bottom? Also, one person’s rock bottom can look wildly different to the next.

My bottom wasn’t that high, I looked great in hot pants when I was 18, not so much these days. (That’s the last bottom joke, promise)

I had experienced some pretty bad consequences, I was arrested for being drunk and disorderly when I was 20 (spent 2 nights in a holding cell) and suffered severely embarrassing and dangerous/violent moments throughout my drinking career.

On the other hand, I suppose you could consider me a high-bottom drinker because I was successfully freelancing from home, looking after my family, I paid rent and taxes and my marriage was intact. I worked very hard to keep this Norman Rockwell facade going for as long as I could.

Does the decision to quit drinking alcohol have to be motivated by such dire warnings as STOP DRINKING OR YOU WILL DIE?

Does that help or hinder the cause? I’m not disputing the fact that alcohol addiction can most certainly kill you. My last rock bottom moment when I fell and knocked my head on that koi pond I could very well have either died or sustained a life altering injury.

What I’m wondering is if we are framing it in the right way? You see, for me stopping drinking saved my life in 2 ways. The first most obvious are the health aspects, I have less of a worry about diseases and accidents that kill drinkers.

The second most important way it saved my life is that I am actually experiencing life. I have time and my consciousness back! I’m here! I’ve been absent from life for so fucking long.

This is how stopping drinking really saves your life – It gives you the most precious gift that anyone can have and that is time to be alive on earth! To savour each human experience, each nuance and detail, to really experience all of it, the agony and ecstasy. That is why I will never go back. Not the fear of the dire consequences that await me if I do (and I know they are real) it’s the absolute insistence of my soul to be ‘conscious’ for the rest of my life. We have such a short time on the earth why would I want to be dulled/numbed for it? We can’t numb selectively so when we numb, we numb all the beautiful splendour of life as well.

I’m not saying that when life is shit I won’t want to forget or numb the pain, I most probably will but I know that choosing to do that with booze means that I resign myself to a homogenous life in black in white when it could be in technicolour.

To be clear is a gift. Life’s downs are easier to handle sober and life’s ups are spectacular when you are awake to experience them.

So instead of the STOP OR YOU’LL DIE, we could also say: I CHOOSE NOT TO DRINK BECAUSE ALCOHOL STEALS MY TIME, ENERGY AND DULLS MY NATURAL WONDER.That sounds truer for me. Because dying from alcohol addiction can take many years, it really is a slow suicide. Also, that may never happen and you could die from something else…this is exactly the point…Do you want to spend the years you have on this planet dazed and confused or do you want to be free and clear?

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37 thoughts on “Why should you quit drinking for good? High-bottom girls make the world go round!

  1. Love that painting! I painted a canvas of similar looking women sitting on the beach.
    Great perspective. Life is too precious to live it in a continued state of drunkenness or hangover. That is how I lived for too long. I love the clarity of being sober. I love my early nights of retiring to my room to paint and listen to a book. I am getting wiser now I don’t drink because I am filling my head with knowledge and not alcohol!!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Amen.
    A high bottom drinker is still a low functioning person.
    Life was passing me by. And I didn’t even realize it.
    I’m so happy to have freedom.

    I’m not sure I could have survived a traumatic drinking experience (like a DUI, etc.). Waiting for that would have been so dangerous.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Yes I think my chances were running out fast. So the wake up call of the accident was needed. So for me it had to start with quit or die – to wake me up. I just also like to have that alternative motivation in my head as it feels more like I am moving towards something instead of away from something. Like I am acting from a place of LOVE instead of FEAR. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s a great way to put it… moving towards something instead of away from something! I’m going to write that down so I can remember it. I went to treatment 2x and the first time, I was definitely running from something. The second time, I was moving towards something, and it was successful 🙂 Thank you

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I want to be free and clear! I’m still trying to be more positive about sobriety, but as I am only a week in, I am still treading carefully, as in the past I have been al giddy and high-on-life in the beginning…then crashed and burned! I’m feeling 100 times better though already. Haha, loving the kids comments on bellies and bums!! Don’t you just love ’em xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    • I know the pink cloud effect does wear off. It changes the further you get on the path – For me it had to start with stop or you will die – I needed that jolt to wake me up to what I was doing. But the further I go the more I realise how second rate the life I was leading was. It wasn’t a full life, it was 80% full with hangovers or drinking. Don’t want that anymore.
      Oh my word kids can just tell it like it is can’t they? xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I was reading your post and thinking that I’m not sure if I’m “high-bottom” or not. I used to think I was high-bottom but now when I look back on how I was living and how close I came to total destruction…and the stark difference only highlights how low I really was a couple years ago.
    I know people who have drank for far longer than I did and lost so, so much more “stuff” like houses and cars….I also know people who have drank for years and make tons of money and appear successful and functional on the surface. I think the concept of a bottom is tricky and actively addicted-drinkers lie to themselves so often that it’s pretty hard to untangle all that stuff. I used to say “I still have my house, car, job, kids, etc” and I work hard so I “deserve” to drink….anyway….
    So that was my long-winded way of saying that I LOVE the way your post frames sobriety as a choice to LIVE, not just a choice to avoid consequences.
    I believe with all my heart that we do not have to wait to be in the gutter to start taking care of ourselves and healing.
    We can choose life and healing right now. That’s so empowering to say and think about.
    Jenn

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Incredible post! Why should we have to hit some kind of bottom in which the choice is stop drinking or die? I’ve often felt like some kind of ghoul when pointing out, “Alcohol will kill you,” even when I know it’s true. Is that all there is to sobriety? Staying alive to endure the world without a buffer?

    And here is where hope or faith comes in, because in truth, you can’t remember what it feels like to have a healed brain. So when someone tells you you’re going to feel amazing, you can’t picture it. It’s not like someone can show you the car of your dreams and say “You will own that.” A car is tangible. Everything about sobriety is intangible, so you have to have faith that not drinking will bring about amazing changes. You have to believe other people who have made it through the swamp of addiction, and are beckoning to you from the opposite shore.

    You’ve described it so well that I never have to explore this subject again. I will just point to your blog.
    xoxo!
    Shawna

    Liked by 4 people

  6. People who are actively drinking tend to think they are getting along better than they actually are. What may seem to us to be “keeping our shit together” might look different on the outside and in objective reality. Saying we are “functional alcoholics” is not saying much.
    And yes, this is a gift. And I think we who have been to the dark places may actually appreciate it more.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I agree. Managing to ‘function’ within your addiction isn’t much of life is it? Its like driving a car with a broken gear box on the highway saying, “look I’m OK I haven’t crashed yet” Its totally inevitable its just a matter of time.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi Hurrah!
    Another great post.
    I remember when I first got sober, I thought I was a high-functioning drinker, with a high bottom.
    But the longer I stayed sober, and the more I read, I realized I was not functioning well at all.
    I also knew I had been lucky so far, and it was only a matter of time before something worse would happen. And even thinking I had high bottom made me think I was “better” than some other drinkers.
    As they say, I was a “yet”.
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Amazing post Hurrah. I think i needed to read this today. I’ve had that little voice in my head saying, “you weren’t that bad, you can drink again some day” I usually ignore this and it goes away but your post blasted that thought away! Its not about how bad you were. If you had a high bottom or low bottom. I hadn’t lost my job or house but I wasnt living. I was holding on by my fingers telling myself i was fine. I was anything but fine. Thanks for reminding me that life is for living not numbing. I love what you said – We can’t numb selectively so when we numb, we numb all the beautiful splendour of life as well. I’ll remember that x

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Fantastic post Hurrah!! I’m a BIG bottom 😦 😦 😉
    Seriously though, I had lots of bad moments and lots of embarrassing moments but I think I always thought that I was “lucky” and high functioning. Honestly now that I look back on it, I was just a “yet” as Untipsyteacher said. I WAS lucky – lucky I didn’t kill myself or someone else.
    Yes, yes YES to everything in your post and being present and conscious for every amazing moment in life. Good and bad.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Totally agree, why wait until everything is really bad before feeling better. Seems like a waste of time. I’m so glad I stopped before ever hitting rock bottom. We should all live life to the fullest and you can’t do that while your drinking wine most nights of the week. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. When someone tells me that they are a high functioning alcoholic, I ask – functioning compared to what? As Anne said, a high bottom drinker is still a low bottom functioning human. The idea of not losing houses, marriages and all that is great until…we start losing houses, marriages, etc! That was like me. I never understood how drinking could take away so much. Until it happened to me. The bottom always has a trap door as they say! I felt that I was at the dying soon phase – probably suicide, which is how most alcoholics die. But for sure we need not get to such a terrible bottom before we see the light. Some people don’t have the DUI’s, arrests, family loss, health loss, etc before they turn their life around…and that’s awesome. I love hearing that. We get to where we need to change in our own ways.

    Great post…thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes I know what you mean, the longer I’m sober the more I realise how bloody sick I was. Personally I needed a shock to get me to stop. I needed that fall. I still had 2 or three lapses after that but I knew this was getting really dangerous. The last 6 months my drinking really escalated fast and got so out of control, a lot of stuff went down that was really scary. I was rapidly approaching late stage alcoholism. I wish I didn’t have to get to that point. I’ve been trying to get sober for many many years. I don’t know if everyone needs to hit some form of bottom. I did. I had many and I am sure there are several more levels down. I don’t want to see what that looks like because what I’ve seen so far scares the sh*it out of me. I guess this post is written for myself to frame sobriety in a way that I’m moving towards something instead of away from something. In other words moving from fear to love. Self love, something that is a new concept for me. I drank to reach oblivion and that is slow suicide. x

      Liked by 2 people

  12. Like in real life, I belt my bottom slipping lower. Each time I stopped drinking I was at a new low even if it was only slightly lower. Conversely I was trying harder to persuade the world I was still ok, I would be falsely cheery first thing at work, makes comments about it being Wednesday, mid week so I would treat myself to a glass of wine. All a big illusion to try and spackle over the fact I was losing control and was terrified I wouldn’t be able to stop the slippery slide I was on.
    My last night drinking before I quit, I had to crawl up the stairs on hands and knees which may not sound as dramatic as nearly killing yourself on a koi pond but it had the same impact on my psyche – quit or die. I had one further single night “experiment” lapse since then at about day 160 something and I hated it and thankfully for me that was all I needed to realise I want no more of that ever. Because I get the odd bout of depression I don’t think life will ever truly be sparkly and full of unicorns but it is at least in technicolor.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was also chirpy in the morning to try and gloss over my spectacular hangovers! That’s so weird I forgot I did that sometimes. Bring on the unicorns Ginger! …and the glitter! Especially when we can feel the depression looming. Crawling up the stairs sounds plenty dramatic to me. I told my oldest friend the story of the koi pond and she nearly killed herself laughing! I used to make those stories funny too to keep the denial going…actually it is pretty funny. x

      Like

  13. I tell myself I was a high achieving addict. That I was getting my shit done despite my problems but I conveniently forget the waking up in strange places, driving high, lying to everyone, being hospitalised. What am I waiting for? Being destitute, alone or dead?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Very interesting points about rock bottom, my husband was no longer working and using heroin and fentanyl daily before he went to rehab, a low point but he could’ve gone lower right? Lost me, lost his family, gone to the street…one thing I do know is it wasn’t a traditional ultimatum from me that helped him get into rehab, he had hit his rock bottom and didn’t want to live that way anymore. Everyone’s rock bottom is different as life experiences by different people are unique and thus it’s “all relative”.
    Loved the bottom jokes by the way!
    xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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