Adulting all over the place


This weekend something happened that triggered me massively. I was in a state of panic fight or flight and just wanted to drink. Instead I went into the shed (the shed where I used to sneak drinks) and I breathed. I sat with my panic. I tried to remember the RAIN acronym (Recognise, allow, investigate, non-identify) but I couldn’t get past ‘allow’, I couldn’t remember past the word ‘allow’ because my prefrontal cortex was on holiday somewhere while my reptile brain was rearing to go.

I sat in the shed for a good 20 minutes and you know what? The feeling didn’t swallow me up and it did pass.

Still sober. Yay for me!. xxx

36 thoughts on “Adulting all over the place

  1. Yay!! Hurrahforcoffee, I’m so proud of you! It’s a scary feeling, eh? It’s hard to get used to dealing with those types of feelings where our minds are screaming at us for a drink, and figuring out what to do instead. But look at you – you did great! 🙂

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  2. Panic attacks are awful. I was in a shop last week when panic overwhelmed me out of nowhere. I started thinking negatively, telling myself I was going to pass out or something but I just kept walking, looking at things on the shelf and talking to myself in a soothing way. Thank God it worked and I walked out of there ok. Sometimes I wonder when the hell this anxiety will leave me alone. I don’t know. Maybe it will always be part of me. I just have to let it ride over me as Clare Weekes would say. Pay it no attention, just let it be there but ignore it. Easier said than done sometimes. I am glad that the Shed was your saving place. I am glad you got through that moment.

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  3. Good for you! Celebrate every single triumph! Sometime last year, something I read on one of the sober blogs sent me in search of Daniell Koepke. She has a wonderful mini-essay called Breathe, which I immediately copied into my journal.
    But I’m still trying to remember to put it into practice!

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  4. Well done you. I used that R.A.I.N. myself but it is so easy to get stuck in it somewhere. I love that you were able to bring yourself back to centre in your shed.
    Hurrah I have to point out how pleased I am to NOT be the only one surprised that I am “adulting”. I remember very early on doing something, can’t remember what and thinking “look at me acting like a grown up!” And being genuinely surprised that this was happening. I genuinely feel like I am not a grown up yet and these moments of maturity come as a real shock to me. I am sure some people must find this ridiculous but I think I stopped maturing sometime around 16-19 but have suddenly at 47 caught up.
    “Adulting all over the place” my god what a great post!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am totally stuck at 19 too! Now these ‘adulting’ moments are creeping in I am realsing how bloody childish I actually am:) I always say when I grow up I will have neat and tidy handbags like my mother does. That still hasn’t happened and it might never happen:)


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