Adulting all over the place

adulting

This weekend something happened that triggered me massively. I was in a state of panic fight or flight and just wanted to drink. Instead I went into the shed (the shed where I used to sneak drinks) and I breathed. I sat with my panic. I tried to remember the RAIN acronym (Recognise, allow, investigate, non-identify) but I couldn’t get past ‘allow’, I couldn’t remember past the word ‘allow’ because my prefrontal cortex was on holiday somewhere while my reptile brain was rearing to go.

I sat in the shed for a good 20 minutes and you know what? The feeling didn’t swallow me up and it did pass.

Still sober. Yay for me!. xxx

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36 thoughts on “Adulting all over the place

  1. Yay!! Hurrahforcoffee, I’m so proud of you! It’s a scary feeling, eh? It’s hard to get used to dealing with those types of feelings where our minds are screaming at us for a drink, and figuring out what to do instead. But look at you – you did great! 🙂

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  2. Panic attacks are awful. I was in a shop last week when panic overwhelmed me out of nowhere. I started thinking negatively, telling myself I was going to pass out or something but I just kept walking, looking at things on the shelf and talking to myself in a soothing way. Thank God it worked and I walked out of there ok. Sometimes I wonder when the hell this anxiety will leave me alone. I don’t know. Maybe it will always be part of me. I just have to let it ride over me as Clare Weekes would say. Pay it no attention, just let it be there but ignore it. Easier said than done sometimes. I am glad that the Shed was your saving place. I am glad you got through that moment.

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  3. Good for you! Celebrate every single triumph! Sometime last year, something I read on one of the sober blogs sent me in search of Daniell Koepke. She has a wonderful mini-essay called Breathe, which I immediately copied into my journal.
    But I’m still trying to remember to put it into practice!

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  4. Well done you. I used that R.A.I.N. myself but it is so easy to get stuck in it somewhere. I love that you were able to bring yourself back to centre in your shed.
    Hurrah I have to point out how pleased I am to NOT be the only one surprised that I am “adulting”. I remember very early on doing something, can’t remember what and thinking “look at me acting like a grown up!” And being genuinely surprised that this was happening. I genuinely feel like I am not a grown up yet and these moments of maturity come as a real shock to me. I am sure some people must find this ridiculous but I think I stopped maturing sometime around 16-19 but have suddenly at 47 caught up.
    “Adulting all over the place” my god what a great post!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am totally stuck at 19 too! Now these ‘adulting’ moments are creeping in I am realsing how bloody childish I actually am:) I always say when I grow up I will have neat and tidy handbags like my mother does. That still hasn’t happened and it might never happen:)

      Like

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