Obsession

I read something on the ‘immortal alcoholic blog’ that resonated with me a lot.

If you’re not familiar with the blog its a woman who writes about her husband’s struggle with alcohol.

She describes the stages of an alcoholic’s life. I think everyone is different and this might not necessarily  apply to everyone, however Stage 10 caught my eye.

She writes:

“STAGE TEN – I must be selfish because I’m in recovery.

A regiment of 12-step meetings begins and nothing else matters. He’s never available because he must go to a meeting. Tunnel vision develops and 12-step groups become his only focus. He’s just as unavailable as he was during drunkenness. But how can his supporters do anything but support his quest for enlightenment?”

I think I might have become slightly obsessed with my recovery. I’m constantly reading blogs and just immersing myself into the world of recovery. But I think this might be another form of escape from actually dealing with my life. Am I procrastinating and diverting attention here? It feels like I am…

Perhaps it’s a stage but I think that I need to get some balance back. Recovery is about more than just not drinking, reading about staying sober and listening to people’s stories. It’s about rebuilding a life that has fallen by the wayside because of addiction. I need to pay attention to:

  1. Self care. – Getting enough sleep, eating sensibly and moving every day
  2. Attention – My kids need more quality time, way more than I’ve been giving
  3. Rebuilding my career
  4. Being creative again
  5. Spending my time more wisely
  6. Focussing on the now and really savouring each moment
  7. Learning how to deal with emotions in a grown up and balanced way

On that note I’m off to bed, it’s really really late – (not a great start:)

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9 thoughts on “Obsession

  1. Ghegheghe, yeah, balance. It will come. Don’t worry. Baby steps. I found that as long as I was hanging around in soberblog-istan I probably needed it. And I kept a very close eye at why I would like to leave when I did.
    I figured, in alternative medicine they say that healing a disease takes a month for each year that you have been ill. I/my addictive personality started at 15 with the abuse of alcohol but I am thinking I got of track in the womb already. That would mean about 4 years plus continuous working on it until I would feel that all the remnants of it are behind me. That’s ok. It beats being ill, death or dying or being a generally unhappy addicted person. 🙂 How’s that for a finishing sentence? Gheghe. Hmm. 😦 Well, you get the idea. 🙂
    xx, Feeling

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Controversial I know but I did not want to turn into an AA person feeling they had to go to meetings, it is a great resource for many but I felt for me it would almost be a cross addiction and I wanted to get to the point where I was just living my life and alcohol was something I just USED to do.
    Six month on and bar that one night drinking, I feel like I am building my life back and alcohol is only in my thoughts when I am in the blogging world. The best thing for me now is the obsession has gone **poof** and I am left with a kind of normal balance that feels like the me it should be. I admire you reading Byron Katie, she is on my list of books to buy, try but I am voraciously reading novels currently as I missed that for years.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree and yes it is controversial. I don’t fancy the idea of getting ‘stuck’ in a victim mentality where I’m proclaiming to be powerless over alcohol. I feel that societies view on alcohol is so skewed. This might not be a popular thing to say but I think that alcohol is a highly addictive drug and that anyone who drinks it is playing with fire. I don’t’ begrudge people who drink at all. Each to their own. BUT this switches the mind-set from. “Poor me there is something fundamentally wrong with me because I cant moderate” to “ I was using an addictive drug and got addicted” Its removes the shame and shines a bright light on society as whole who are normalising drug use. I am a bit evangelical about this and it might sound like I’m standing on my soap box wagging my finger at people who drink but I’m not. I’m coming from a place of compassion and understanding. I don’t know if you know about Dr David Nut? He did a study about the harm of drugs and found that alcohol is more harmful than heroin and crack. He called for a review of the current way we classify drugs. Bug surprise, he was sacked. It seems that the powers that be have a vested interest in the alcohol industry.
      Link to article:

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11660210

      Sorry I did go on a bit. Forgive me but I feel so passionately about this. Thank you for stopping by Ginger. xxx

      Like

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