I read something on the ‘immortal alcoholic blog’ that resonated with me a lot.
If you’re not familiar with the blog its a woman who writes about her husband’s struggle with alcohol.
She describes the stages of an alcoholic’s life. I think everyone is different and this might not necessarily apply to everyone, however Stage 10 caught my eye.
“STAGE TEN – I must be selfish because I’m in recovery.
A regiment of 12-step meetings begins and nothing else matters. He’s never available because he must go to a meeting. Tunnel vision develops and 12-step groups become his only focus. He’s just as unavailable as he was during drunkenness. But how can his supporters do anything but support his quest for enlightenment?”
I think I might have become slightly obsessed with my recovery. I’m constantly reading blogs and just immersing myself into the world of recovery. But I think this might be another form of escape from actually dealing with my life. Am I procrastinating and diverting attention here? It feels like I am…
Perhaps it’s a stage but I think that I need to get some balance back. Recovery is about more than just not drinking, reading about staying sober and listening to people’s stories. It’s about rebuilding a life that has fallen by the wayside because of addiction. I need to pay attention to:
- Self care. – Getting enough sleep, eating sensibly and moving every day
- Attention – My kids need more quality time, way more than I’ve been giving
- Rebuilding my career
- Being creative again
- Spending my time more wisely
- Focussing on the now and really savouring each moment
- Learning how to deal with emotions in a grown up and balanced way
On that note I’m off to bed, it’s really really late – (not a great start:)