Warning sign?

OK so my husband and I went on this romantic mini break to Venice and it was absolutely amazeballs! We aced sober air travel and romantic dinners with no red wine in sight. All was well but…

When we were at the airport my husband said something that worried me. I brushed it off and hoped that it would go away but it’s gnawing at me. He said that he’s been toying with the idea of drinking but only when we are not in England. In other words, limiting our drinking to holidays only.

I dismissed it straight away as being silly and explained how much better off we are not drinking at all.

I have no desire of urge to even entertain this idea because I know how this deal works. First you limit it to only holidays abroad, then it becomes all holidays, then it becomes weekends and before you know it you are back on 2 bottles of wine a night.

What worries me is that he is thinking about it.

We have always been on par in our excesses. We’ve also tried to get sober together, many many times. Almost every time he started drinking again and I joined him soon after in lengthy relapses.

I’m not blaming him for my choices I fully own my decisions however I’ve always known in my heart of hearts that I wouldn’t be able to stay married if my partner wasnt also abstinent.

I’m in this for the long haul, I do not want to start the drinking roller coaster again so I am slightly apprehensive that if he’s playing with these ideas it could spell trouble on the horizon…

 

 

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Warning sign?

  1. I did the same thing back in July. I had gone 173 days without drinking. On a trip to England I thought “Only on vacation. Obviously you don’t have a problem, look how long you have gone!” I was wrong. My drinking tripled and I went so much further than I had ever done. My summer is a complete blur. A drunken drunken awful blur. I just can’t ever drink again. Or at least until I am over 80.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. I just survived a long European vacation, while my husband drank. He was pretty moderate about it (he doesn’t have my “issues”), but I still felt like he was cheating if he had over one drink with lunch or dinner. I felt cheated because we were no longer on the same playing field. If he had more, he would become all chatty and jovial, while I was still stuck in reality. I DID NOT DRINK WITH HIM, however, NO MATTER WHAT! If I pin my sobriety on anyone else, particularly him, I will drink again. I went through the same cycle you did — drinking with him after a period of sobriety. It even felt like I was helping my marriage by drinking. Very soon I would be back in the same boat, usually within a week. And it sucked so bad to have to start all over again.
    I don’t know what he will do long-term, but I am only concerned with myself at the moment. It’s enough to handle.
    Hang in there!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I can relate to that. A couple of years ago I managed to keep sober while he continued to drink for over a year and a half. I was so sure of myself and I didn’t want to drink at all. Fast-forward to baby number2 and really bad case of postnatal depression got me back in the pit. It was a slow decent because I had to look after the children but I was descending none the less. I know I can’t pin my sobriety on him but it really sucks not being on the same level as your partner. And not just that I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to ever have alcohol in the house.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. It can be hard when a partner drinks (whether they have problems with it or not). When I decided to get sober, my boyfriend decided to not drink for a few weeks with me, but started up this weekend. It actually made me more focused on my goals and I think I added a few more “tools” to my sobriety toolbox. Do I wish we could be sober together? Sure. But we are each on our own journey and I need to be focused on mine. Good luck, lady! ❤

    Like

  5. My hubs stopped drinking to support me.
    I know it would be challenging to be in a partnership where one person keeps drinking.
    I do know one couple where the wife drinks (very little), and the husband is in recovery, and they are happy.
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

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