I hope ‘Hurrah for Gin’ will forgive me.
That’s how it all started for me…Hurrah for Gin! Thank God for alcohol! My friend, my smoother of the rough edges. The magic juice that makes everything ok, lulls me, comforts me, makes me funny, makes me sexy, makes me happy. Makes me sing Que sera, sera into the sunset. And then one day it doesn’t do any of those things, all that’s left is craving so desperately for relief from the hangover from last night’s binge. Ethanol makes me sad, lonely, confused and depressed.
So this is my first blog post about becoming sober. It has been almost two months since I last had a drink. God that sounds like such a serious confession! This ain’t my first rodeo around getting sober either. I’ve tried to stop drinking multiple times before or maybe one could say I’ve been relapsing in and out of sobriety for the last 12 years. I hope to God this is the last time but hey, if it isn’t I’ll just try again.
What else can I do? I can’t go back to drinking normally, if there is such a thing. I can’t go back into denial because I’ve lived there for so long and its fucking painful! It’s the cognitive dissonance toward the end of your addiction that is enough to drive you to suicide. The desperate state where you wish you didnt have to drink but need to drink to ‘survive the day’
I love going back to your first post to see how it all began. Congratulations on hanging in there. ; )
xoxo
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Gosh its early days yet I’m only on 2 months. I am very resolute this time though, have no choice.
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Two months is a long time. Usually, if I could make it that long, then five or six months was almost a guarantee. But it might take me a couple of years to get to two months because I always quit at the beginning, over and over. So the hardest part is over for you. ; )
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Let’s hope so. The blogging is definitely helping;) x
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